How Is Technology Changing Our Sex Lives?

All in all, technology can be used for the extraordinary or for the demise of your sex life; it all really just depends on you.

Couple being cozy
Couple being cozy. Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

Technology has made so many advancements in this world in just the last few years, not to mention the last few decades! From phones to medical equipment to cars, technology is a beautiful thing and we might be starting to think, “Is there anything it won’t be able to do?” Well, it seems that the only thing we can’t foresee it doing anytime soon is aiding in building and keeping meaningful relationships. Ouch.

1. Where Is There Room For Humans?
Just like with food, alcohol, and any other drug, we can become addicted to technology and one of the most prevalent in today’s society is our phones. According to King University, a 2017 study concluded that on average, people touch their phones 2,617 times a day, iPhone users unlock their screens 80 times a day, and 5 hours of the day are dedicated to screentime, a 20% increase from just two years prior in 2015. Let’s take into consideration most people work 8 hours a day and commonly have an average of half an hour drive home; by then, the time left to spend with friends, family, and loved ones is consumed by technologies before we need to sleep for the next day. How can we have REAL relationships when our faces are constantly buried in our phones?

2. Why Is Sex Important?
Through technology, we can have thousands of “friends” but in most cases, these are not true relationships, especially romantic ones. So where does that leave us in regards to sex? Sure, there’s Tinder and Blendr, but for those in committed relationships, technology can take a huge toll in the boudoir. According to Sextopedia, sex releases hormones like Oxytocin, which helps you to feel emotionally close to your partner, and endorphins, which elevates good mood feels. Human bonding is essential to our existence, as we are social creatures and not meant to walk alone.

Have you ever noticed your partner checking their phone in the middle of a conversation or even during sex? As sad as this sounds, it is happening more and more and can have detrimental effects on a relationship. Oftentimes, behaviour like this makes the other partner feel as if they are second best to a smartphone, causing feelings of anger and discontent. This also goes for TV; they’re watching a show and you’d rather give them a show of your own in the bedroom but by the time the TV turns off, so do they and off to sleep they go.

3. The Power Of Addiction
Harvard Health Publishing tells, much like any other addiction type, technology floods our brains with the chemical Dopamine, creating a shortcut to our reward system. This is quickly and subconsciously learned and memorized as how to rapidly receive satisfaction and just like that, the conditioned response has been set in place for whenever the addiction is fulfilled. This is what addiction is, no matter the source. So what’s one of the best ways to break an unhealthy addiction? A strong will and replacing it with a healthy alternative; so why not look to sex? It is healthy, has a multitude of benefits, and with the release of Oxytocin, will help to replace the addictive good feels from technology with the good feels of true human intimacy and interaction.

4. “I’m Too Sexy For My… Phone?
You might be thinking that I’m way off here, because if I wasn’t how could dating websites be so popular and in some cases, successful? Now, I’m not saying technology is useless and to completely throw it out the window; I love meme scrolling as much as the next person! Internet dating can be a great introduction into the world of finding love but it can only go so far because (obviously) you can’t have intercourse with someone over online servers, so in turn, technology is still consuming you while furthering the absence or lack of sex.

5. Technology and Sex: An Unexpected Alliance
How disappointing, right? Technology is supposed to move us forward in ALL aspects of life; but wait, there just might be some good news for the hanky panky that can come from technology! The word Technology is often thought of as just phones, cars, TVs, medical equipment, gaming devices, etc. Technology is defined by Merriam-Webster as “the practical application of knowledge especially in a particular area”. That sounds like it could mean just about anything and guess what else can be considered as technology? Dildos and sex toys. I’ll precurse right now and say if you are strictly into vanilla sex, I reserve no judgment, BUT the rest is probably just not for you.

6. Sex Swings and Strap-ons and Nipple Clamps, Oh My!
Although the use of sex toys isn’t technically “intercourse”, it is a great way to incorporate technology into the bedroom and our sex lives! I mean, the options here are near limitless; sex dolls, dildos, vibrators, ticklers, blindfolds, handcuffs, spreader bars, vibrating panties, kegel balls, rings, chocolate body paint, and so much more! All of these products are sex technology and great for foreplay, intimacy, fun, and bonding with your significant other. These toys bring you and your partner together with something you can do to become closer, instead of sitting at opposite ends of the couch scrolling social media. An hour of mind-blowing, anticipation-inducing foreplay followed by the ultimate pleasure release sounds like a much better way to incorporate technology in our sex lives to me!

Women sitting on a bed
Women sitting on a bed. Photo by Charles on Unsplash

7. Some Good News For Sex AND Phones
Guys, phones can help our sex lives sometimes; just search for “Kama Sutra” in your apps and voila, you’ll be whisked into a world of sex positions you’ve never thought possible and then YOU get to try them out firsthand! Just be sure to put the phone down when it’s time to test your flexibility! Another way a simple camera phone can aide in your sex life is to video record it. Of course, only do this with someone you trust completely and if it makes you comfortable, but it can be a fun way to use technology to the advantage of your sex!

8. The Biological Benefits
According to Sextopedia, sex induces heightened levels of estrogen in women and heightened levels of testosterone in men, offering many health benefits to each! For women, some benefits may include a lowered risk of heart disease, clearer skin, reduction of vaginal bacterial infections, maintain the body temperature, strengthened bones, and regulated cholesterol in the liver, in turn protecting the heart and arteries. For men, boosted testosterone can lead to less risk of depression, decreased body fat, increased muscle mass, strengthening the heart and bones, a lowered risk for developing Alzheimer’s Disease, and heightened cognitive ability.

All in all, technology can be used for the extraordinary or for the demise of your sex life; it all really just depends on you. Put the phones down, turn off the TV, and fall over each other down the hallway until you reach the bedroom and if you’re feeling extra frisky, pull out some sexy technology to amp up the experience! Oxytocin is not only released during orgasm but also during foreplay, so go on and get down and dirty with your partner for the health of your body, mind, sex life, and relationship!


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