Johannesburg’s hottest real estate deal is here!
The Gupta family’s Saxonwold compound — a monument to state capture, tender fraud, and “creative accounting” — is finally going under the hammer.
But don’t worry, the auction house has ensured only serious buyers (read: those with unexplained offshore funds) can participate.
Entry Fee: R500,000 (Proof of Embezzlement Optional)
Bidding on the infamous “Loot Manor” isn’t for the faint-hearted or the legally compliant.
Park Village Auctions, tired of Gupta lawyers wasting their time by pretending to bid, has set a R500,000 deposit just to prove you’re committed to questionable financial decisions.
A source from the auction house explained: “We’ve had too many jokers register and then ghost us. If you’re not willing to drop half a mil just for the chance to buy a house, you’re clearly not corrupt enough for this neighborhood.”
What’s Included in Your Purchase?
- No. 5 Saxonwold Drive: An eight-bedroom mansion with an indoor pool (perfect for washing away money-laundering guilt).
- No. 7 Saxonwold Drive: A 17-bedroom panhandle property (ideal for housing your extended family and your offshore shell companies).
- No. 3 Saxonwold Drive: A “modest” single-storey home (for when you want to pretend you’re not that corrupt).
Bonus: All furniture sold as a lot! That includes the infamous “How to Capture a State for Dummies” coffee-table book (allegedly).
Viewing Days: Bring Your Bodyguards
Public viewings are scheduled for June 30, July 6, 13, and 19 — because nothing says transparency like letting randoms walk through a crime scene.
Why This Is a Steal (Literally)?
The properties are part of Confidence Concept, a business rescue case, which, in South Africa, is just a polite way of saying “We ran out of state departments to loot.”
If you’ve ever dreamed of owning a piece of South Africa’s most shameless kleptocracy, now’s your chance.
Just remember: The deposit is non-refundable, much like the Gupta family’s loyalty to South Africa.
